Joyful competition as an Access Athlete

When I talk about X-Men, I talk about those who are “different.”  Those often labelled ADD ADHD OCD Autistic and beyond, those who are most often made wrong, or who make themselves wrong.

In Access Consciousness, we have the point of view that behind all of the above are talents, abilities, capacities, and a brilliance that is often unacknowledged. There is nothing that needs to be fixed, treated, or is broken. 

And so, it was with this in mind that in September of 2017, I took my ADD, ADHD, OCD X-Men Body to a World Triathlon Event in Rotterdam as part of the Canadian Triathlon Team.

I departed for the Netherlands as an X-Men Intro Facilitator wondering, with this body that I have often make wrong for its abilities, which of those X-Men capacities was I capable of tapping into and playing with in the world of sports. 

How much fun could my body and I have?  

These are not the usual questions that an athlete in a world class event would likely be asking. 

The event that I raced in was the Olympic-distance triathlon, which involved swimming 1500 meters, biking 40 kilometers on the cobble stoned and highly technical roads of Rotterdam, and running 10 kilometers. This was a distance that was not unfamiliar to me, but this year I was racing with athletes from all over the world at a high level of excellence. 

As an X-Men, I have learned that the more you view this reality and your capacities as a playground, the more fun you can have and the greater ease you can create in your body, even when testing its limits in a competitive environment.  As I was preparing, here are some of the questions that I was asking:

Body, what are you capable of that I have never acknowledged?

What X-Men capacity can I tap into here?

What am I perceiving?

What contribution can the earth be to me and what can I contribute to the earth?

What am I aware of here?

What qualities from other athletes can I duplicate in my body?

You see, when an X-Men functions from questions instead of conclusions there is much more ease in their bodies.  

One night I had a conversation with my teammates over dinner, I asked “how many of you were ever labeled ADHD ADD or OCD?”

The conversation was revealing. Ninety-percent said “yes” they fell into this category, if not formally then off the record.

When I looked at my own X-Men capacities labeled as ADHD and OCD, I could see where those qualities contributed to my sport in a very dynamic way.  As an example, the OCD of counting which I directed towards steps, cadences, pedal strokes, and body rhythms.  These constant numbers in my brain, which for so many years I made wrong, come to life, supporting my body in delivering a race with consistent pacing, strategy, and strength.  

Of all my X-Men qualities, it was my ADHD that was the most fun to observe in action.

For my body to be in movement for hours, for it to be challenged, for it to be outdoors, for me to push physical limits and race and train with a strongly beating heart, was nourishment at a deep cellular level.  An X-Men’s body loves to move and this sport is a beautiful platform for that movement.

On the flip side, especially in training, when I asked if this sport was a contribution to my body, I realized that sometimes it was not.  

The sport of triathlon can be awash with judgement.  

 The judgements of never being good enough are often present, you perceive other people’s judgements of themselves and a switch from expansion to contraction can occur.

When this energy of contraction is chosen by an X-Men (and admittedly sometimes this was the space from which I functioned) it can be very difficult on the body. 

 I love this sport and it has been a tremendous contribution to me and to my body.  Competing with people from all over the world, I chose to celebrate every moment.  The sounds, the senses, the excitement of the event and the beautiful city.  As an X-Men I was hyper-aware of everyone’s universes and sometimes that was uncomfortable and sometimes it was a contribution.  I am so incredibly grateful for my amazing X-men body and this playground. To be able to move, to be in nature, to swim in the open water, to wear a Team Canada uniform, to push my physical limits, to cross the finish line.    

What else is possible for X-Men and bodies?  I wonder.  

By Mary Case CFMW Access Consciousness X-Men Intro Facilitator.  

With special thanks to X-Men extraordinaire and dear friend, Maxine Hurley for her assistance in creating this article.