What 40 years performing has taught me

I realized tonight that I have been performing professionally for over forty years.

I remember being a young professional, looking on and often engaging with the “older” players and feeling inspired by their wisdom and endurance. Now it is reversed. I was inspired tonight by the younger players, their passion, their camaraderie, their technical agility, and their creative energies.

There is an ease to mature playing, at least for me. It is the absence of judgement, comparison, and competition that often tainted performances of youth. It is also an abundance of gratitude and receiving.

Music is timeless, and in the end, age is not relevant as long as the body continues to support what is required. There is endurance, stamina, clarity, and clear thinking required of an orchestral player.

In tonight’s performance of the Brahms Requiem, I noticed two things in particular: the     level of my “receiving”, and the depth of my   gratitude. Or perhaps gratitude is total receiving?

  There was gratitude for being invited to     participate, to be trusted to contribute and blend,     to be immersed in such beauty and for my body to   continue support high-level performance. There   was gratitude for the composer, the conductor, the   choir, the soloists, the audience, my “fan club” in   the audience, and my sweet violin.

 There was also another level to what I am calling   “receiving.” This is more difficult to put into words. I   allowed every vibration to saturate my cells. I   received the vibrations. It was like a surround “sound” experience, with the choir behind me and my place in the orchestra.

I was infused with the warmth of the cellos and violas, the depth of the double bass, the unity of the violin section, the versatility of the winds and french horn and the percussions and the virtuosity of all the players with the voices. I was transported beyond the text and music to the energy of it, while at the same time being present with the music itself and what was required. In this case, many key changes and subtleties of texture.

This Requiem is sublime. There were two soloists, a soprano and bass-baritone who swept me away with their power, passion, purity, and tenderness. Whatever was required to deliver the text.

There were complex fugues and musical chaos that found its way to peaceful resolution.

There were moments of sustained beauty and calm and moments of fury and intensity. Grief and joy superimposed. I received it all.

I return from the above musings, the sweet melodies still playing in my ears, and acknowledge once again how grateful I am. To be an artist, to be able to experience such beauty in this very profound way, to have this gift and to be able to share it is a privilege. This is the energy of gifting and receiving.

As much as the music gifts to me, I return to others. As much as the music gifts to me, I receive.

Acknowledgements

Hugh Van Pelt Conductor

Chelsea Van Pelt Soprano

Aaron Dimoff Bass-Baritone

Choral Connection

April 2023